Please
by Justnerdyme
Summary: After The Last Jedi, Kylo Ren and Rey find themselves trapped in an unforeseeable circumstance. Will the light or dark be balanced or will one take over the other? TLJ Spoilers. Smut.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Star Wars**

 **Authors Note:** This is my first attempt at writing something without the characters being my own and the first time posting on here. So here it goes. Enjoy! ** _  
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Rey

I saw his face before I closed the Millennium Falcon's door. He was filled with pain, anger... heart was pounding, ready to explode. I had betrayed him like everyone before him, Luke, Han. I walked away from what could have been. If I grabbed his hand the resistance could still be alive. Could I have changed his mind if I was by his side? Would he have stopped the attack? More people could be alive or everyone could have been dead. Was that a chance I was willing to accept?

The memory of his hand outstretched asking me to join him. Saying please. I so desperately wanted to grab his hand, wanted to join his side. I just wanted to feel the electricity that surrounded us that night on Ahch-To. Could I really just stream it down to wanting one feeling? No. I know the truth. I know that I wanted him to be by my side as much as he wanted to have me on his. Maybe we could have run away to some solitude island. I just don't know.

He is Kylo Ren and I wanted Ben. Can I admit that he is dead? Can I give up on something that feels so real and so close? Nights like tonight, when the rain is pouring down and everything is hushed by the falling water, are the worst. Ben keeps creeping into my mind. I can hear his plea over and over again. A word so simple but never simple enough. Please. Please. Please. He said please and I walked away.

Suddenly, everything became quiet and my breath echoed in the silence. My too small of a room, dark and filled mostly by the most comfortable bed I have ever slept on, was interloped with the embodiment of a man. The darkness of his cloak blended in with the darkness of the room like he had always been there just waiting for the right time to come strike me down.

"I don't want…"

"I know" He spit harshly back. "He lied. Snoke was not doing this." This gave her hope. Maybe Ben just wanted to come see her like she has been dreaming about seeing him. Though in her dreams they stand in the throne room taking each other hands, a regret my subconscious doesn't want me to forget.

"Why then? Why are you coming to see me?" I was so full of questions from the weeks of hiding out with the resistance.

"I would never come see you." _Oh._ I looked down at the floor hoping that I would look up and he would be gone... but not really gone.

"I don't have the strength to battle now," I tell him. The replied silence filled the space with a heavy air. He was still there trying to look anywhere by at her. Now pacing back and forth, I could hear the squeaking of his boots on the waxed floor.

"I should've killed you when I had the chance." Each word he spoke aloud hurt me more than I cared to admit yet there didn't seem to be truth in what he spoke.

"Please stop." Weakness invaded my voice. I asked him please. Why didn't I just say stop? Was this Kylo Ren or was this Ben? Can I separate them so easily as if they really were different people?

"Please? Who do you think you are? Invading my mind with your...your...emotions, your light. You left me. Remember? I asked you and you rejected me. No one will reject me again. I will find you and your resistance. I will find you and you will die alongside those you couldn't leave behind." I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell him to let the light in, to let me in. I wanted… more than I could give him. I could never join the first order much the same he could not join the resistance. Too much had been done on both our sides to be together in a war. It would be the end before it even began. I knew it but I still couldn't help but to cling to hope.

The awkwardness lingered as the bond started to fade.

"Wait. Wait!" His voice deepened in the darkness, his hand raised towards his chest with a pained look on his face. The rain continued with its soothing hum, there were no boots on a wax floor, and my heartbeat no longer filled the void with its echo drum. However, the black cloak and the man within stayed in the same place. His eyes narrowed in on me. "What did you do?"


	2. Chapter 2

I opened my mouth to start talking, but what was I going to say? I didn't do anything. It only took Ben a step to reach my bed. I instinctively pulled the flimsy sheet over my chest. Not that a simple blanket protect me from the wrath of Kylo Ren. I had no lightsaber, no weapon I could easily reach.

"What did you do?" He asked again. I could see his chest lifting every time he took a breath, slow, measured.

"Sit down and stay quiet." I was ordering Kylo Ren, the Kylo Ren, yet he followed my every word. He sat down at the edge of the bed just staring in my direction. The door was closed and locked but his deep voice travels. " ." I demanded. I put my hand to my mouth as if he didn't already know what I was saying. I got up and triple checked the door to make sure it stayed locked. No one was getting in or out.

"Rey?" He whispered, and with my name against his lips, I wanted him to whisper it again and Kylo Ren is in my quarters, within the resistance.

"Everything is fine. Everything is going to be fine. Everything...Everything is not fine and you should not be here. This is not how the force is supposed to work. You aren't supposed to be here. You don't have the first order behind you and you are somewhere you are definitely not supposed to be. They will kill you. First chance, any moment they see you, any person will kill you."

"They are worthless. My only enemy lies here. Will you try to kill me?" He sounded so calm with how much actual danger he was in or how much danger I was in. But would I kill him?

"I am not your enemy," I whispered. With Ben sitting on the bed and I standing in his way towards the door. I would have no way to stop him but I didn't believe that I would have to. I felt in control, balanced more so with him in the room than him across the galaxy. I kneeled by his feet. "Are you going to kill me?"

"I want to." He said hard but his expression changed. "I've wanted to." An audible sigh escaped his chest. The battle within him was raging ever more and at that moment it was quiet again. Not silent but quiet. Everyone around the base, other than a few guards, should be sleeping and the rain had fallen to a sprinkle. Ben and I were just sitting in a room, a balance of light and dark.

I placed my hand on the top of his knee. My hand felt like fire and Ben's eye closed.

"Ben." My heart raced. He seemed slightly unsettled.

"Rey? Can I-" Kneeling down and looking up at his face, he was conflicted. I knew he could kill me and probably everyone at the camp. "You rejected me. You said no and left me lying on the floor to escape to people you don't even tell the truth too. Can you admit the truth to yourself? Will you hide from it?" He took both of his gloves off and tossed them to the side.

I didn't respond. I couldn't respond. His hand caressed the underside of my jaw and wrapped his hand around my neck, tilting my face toward the ceiling. "Do you believe I would hurt you?"

The heartbeat roared out my chest. "Maybe."

His hand gripped just a little harder making my breath more purposeful. "Maybe? Why don't you try to stop me? I could end it right here. The resistance would have no hope with you gone." His lips slightly pursed; his eyes peering down. He could do it. This would be the end and all of his light would be gone.

"Do it." A dangerous move to call his bluff. He didn't when we were in the throne room, he won't do it when we are so close now. He hand gripped tighter for only a second and let go. "I am not afraid of you. Stop trying so hard. I will never be afraid of you. I wasn't afraid of you on your ship, and I will not be afraid of you here."

"Why aren't you afraid of me? I should terrify you. You watched me kill Han Solo. You watched me come after you."

"I might not be able to erase the things you did in the past, no matter how deplorable, but I might be able to affect your future, my future. I didn't want to say no to you. I wanted to take your hand."

"You didn't."

"I know. I can't fall into the darkness just like you cannot walk fully in the light. You wanted to rule, together. I just wanted the war to stop. If you had just compromised-"

"Compromise for you?" He whispered. "What would I gain from letting the resistance live?"

"Me." His face bewildered. Maybe he never understood that all he had to do was let them escape and the war could start to end. "Me. You could have had me." I repeated. My heart felt as though it had been poisoned, burning the blood through my entire body. Maybe I was not enough anymore. I continue to be the no one he explained in the throne room.

"Rey." His voice was soft like I never heard before. "You will always be more than enough. You already know that I wanted you by my side."

I lifted myself off the floor and put my legs over his body, sitting in his lap. My body screaming everywhere we touched. My heart racing more than before, my cheeks blushed hotter than even being on Jakku. Ben was moving his hands from my hips around my back, pulling me closer. The stiff black fabric was the only thing keeping us apart. My hands went around his neck and I softly placed my lips against his.

His hands pulled my chest closer to his and he kissed me back eliminating anything soft about my kiss. He became fierce like he was trying to possess me. Tightening his grip, my head strained to reach him and his touch was increasingly constricting. "Rey." My name so tenderly on a man so course.

We both were out of breath but struggling to get more. My cheeks flushed red and grasping against his clothes. "Ben. Don't stop." Trying to touch every part of my body, never getting enough. He placed his lips against my neck over until I moaned giving him more intensity. My shirt ripped down my arm so his lips could taste my shoulder, down my collarbone, down to my chest. Grasping the cloth like mesh, ripping into shreds, pulling against my back. The slight pain of being held too tight, clothes being torn too rough and the need for me to breathe only made me want more. My back arched leading his mouth closer to taking the fabric away from my chest.

A knock on the door scared both myself and even the fearless Kylo Ren looked worried. We looked at each other's eyes and wished the knock would send him back to the first order but here he stays with a boyish shock on his face. A knock again.


	3. Chapter 3

"Rey?" General Leia's voice came through crystal clear.

I turned to Ben. My eyes probably wider than they have ever been. Not only was he in my room but his mother was right outside the door unknowing that I was trying to convince her son to stay. That I wanted to stay with him as much as he, I thought, wanted to stay with me. "Hide."

"Hide?" There was nowhere he could hide. The bed framed by just a metal box, a small drawer filled up the rest of the space with a window for a little release to the outside. The door straight across. Ben grabbed his lightsaber attached to his belt. He wouldn't hurt his mother, I hope.

"Rey?" Leia called again.

"One second!" I yell through the door. "Lay on the bed?" I whisper to Ben. I think he smirked. I feel like I felt him smirk. I threw my blankets and pillow over him. The was a terrible plan. How is anyone not going to notice a man hiding under some blankets? "This isn't going to work," I whispered to pile of Ben, pillows, and blankets. I thought I heard him chuckle as he threw the blankets away from his body. "Just stay here." Pressed between the door and wall, he would just stay against it t and no one will suspect anything. Right? Oh, I hope. "Don't do anything stupid," I commanded as he still held his weapon against his chest.

"Rey? I know something is going on. Open the door." Oh, no...oh no oh no oh no. I am fine and I can do this. I tried to rearrange my dress as much as I could by tying the falling pieces together.

I opened the door, my other hand holding onto the clothes that were being torn off a few seconds ago. "Uh...is everything okay General Leia?" Trying to act like I just woke up but my hearts' beating out of my chest, my cheeks are more red then they have ever been, and my lips swelled. I look like I've been kissed and kissed well.

"You have to feel it the change. Something is happening with Ben. All of a sudden I heard his voice. We might have a chance after all. We can still hope." I heard the beginning of a sighed groan from the hiding Ben and opened the door a little to push him against the wall. I started coughing to cover it up the mysterious grunt, but Leia knew. Maybe she always knew and with the change in the force, something is obviously happening to him. Through the crack in the door, she looked at my bed completely disheveled with pillows on the floor and blankets all crumbled up amidst the darkness of the room.

"I see. I have obviously interrupted something." There was a hint of a smile in her voice. "I should wait until the morning. I have disturbed your...rest. We will talk later, and Poe better be well rested in the morning." She smiled and winked. Maybe she didn't know...

"Uh… I'm sorry? Poe?" My face flush and embarrassed.

"You don't have to hide it anymore. Sneaking to your room at any given whim or going to bed early. Even as an old woman, I still have eyes Rey." General Leia continued on the idea that Poe was hiding in my room. I could feel Ben's stare, and his thoughts made itself clear in my mind. _You're mine now._ A shiver ran down my back as Ben's eyes looked up and down my body just waiting for the door to close.

"Honey it's okay. People end up with those you least expect. Trust me. I will see you in the morning." And she walked away towards her room. I slowly closed the door and looked at Ben.

"Poe?" Ben fiercely inquired. I have never seen jealousy on a man filled with the dark force, but it's terrifying. I swear I could see his red lightsaber within his dark eyes ready to destroy everything around us. Soon his hands were holding me in place as my sleeves ran down. "You tempt men to your room often? Like Poe?"

I pull my arms from his grasp. No one grabs me like that out of jealousy or anger. "First of all, I can do what I want in my room. You are my guest, kind of, so keep your temper. Second of all, I am not to be owned. Third of all, you definitely have slept with other women so...you know."

"I've fucked many other women."

"Right…" Hearing him say that definitively made it that much worse. "See? You don't have anything to be upset over. You and I have had other relations."

"You're wrong."

"How am I wrong?"

"I've fucked. I never get attached but here I am hiding in a dark room with a woman telling me what to do. I like control Rey. I like things my way. I know that I'm stuck here with you right now, but I don't want anything else."

"Fine."

"Want to know what else? I know that no man will ever get to touch you again. I know that If I kiss right here your breathing gets faster and your body becomes so inviting." His kissing stopping for only a moment and my hands wandered across his chest and down his arms. The scar from the shot on his side and, the scar on his shoulder I knew personally. The deadly wound I gave him has completely healed into a long scar going from his face down just touching his pants. The scar, a reminder that we could have killed each other now completely covered in soft new skin. My hands run up and down his torso, looking how I have marked him but the other scars mark his body like tattoos. My hands only slightly shaking as nerves rise through my body.

"I know that if another woman tried to touch me the way you are right now, you would become just as jealous and hatred filled. My light Rey would be filled with the darkness and passion." I looked up at him, my teeth biting my lower lip. Even trying to stay in the light, the dark called to me. He was calling me and I wanted to answer. Answer over and over again. "I also know that you are mine and you can't do anything about it." A smirk reached his lips before he crushed mine.

Between breaths, as he kept us his charade of kissing, I wanted to touch his skin much like he wanted to touch mine. "Please," I begged him in a moaned whisper. He lifted his hand toward the base of my neck.

"Tell me what you want." His rich voice demanding and alluring. His hand still wandering and pressing on the base of my throat. His other hand at the small of my back. The thrill of Ben having full control of me was beyond anything I could have imagined.

"You." I barely breathed out. His movements became hastier. My tattered dress falling to the floor and my now barely tanned naked body becoming something for him to admire. His hand seizes my hips staring at me like a piece of artwork admiring every inch. My legs long and strong, and my body desperate for his lips again. I reached out to touch him impatient for the electricity that flows through my blood when we embrace.

His breathing quickened its pace and his urgency to be kissed and touched became immediate. As he sat down on the bed his lips were skimming the peaks of my breasts. His other hand framing my other breast until his needy mouth found it. His teeth grazed down a little harder making a soft moan escape my throat.

I want his lips on mine again. I want to feel his soft hums as I touch him. I want to taste his breath on mine. My hands pulled his lips towards my already raw and swelled lips. No longer were we teasing each other with conversation but with an all-consuming passion. "Ben," I whispered his name like a need.

His hands rushed like I would disappear any minute. The same way I held onto him, grabbing a little too hard, going a little too fast. Before thumping down onto my bed I inched my fingers across his chest, down the scar I gave him, to the top of his black pants. Ben kicked his shoes into the dresser only a few inches away from the bed. The loud thump reverberated through the room.

"Shh." I put my lips to his again. "Quiet. Remember? I can't risk you being found." We had to remember that Kylo Ren was sitting in the middle of the resistance base with the 'last' hope of that same resistance. The rain started to pound a little harder on the window and my hands pulled down the rest of his black attire. I was naked and needed to see him the same. His body was just what I imagined laying against mine in this same bed night after night.

Ben lifted me up as I wrapped my legs around his body. His hands adjusting and lining himself toward my entrance. I was wet and waiting, his tip just pushing against me. Slowly, I enveloped him with no warning or much preparation, we rushed to be attached together. In the middle of the dark room, the muscles in his arms flexed every time he pushed deeper into me lifting me up enough to crash me back down.

The small room kept the heat from our bodies pulsing against each other. Hair was sticking to my neck and beads of sweat caught on Ben's chest. My nails scratching against his shoulders. Instead of me screaming out his name, scratch marks lined across his entire body as he filled me over and over again as I tried to stay quiet.

"Rey," He softly moaned. He thrust up over and over again as I rode him trying to keep the speed we both want.

"Don't stop, please, don't stop." I felt as though I was begging, no longer able to control anything around me. I could feel his hands digging harder into my hips pushing me to go further than I could handle. Ben threw me on my back kissing that spot on my neck. His entire body was in view. His body sitting up while thrusting in and out of me. While watching me dangle on the verge of total collapse, his fingers rubbed that sensitive bud until my back arched forcing my breasts to tease his mouth. His other hand over my mouth muting my plea, I bit down on his fingers only wanted him to continue. I released faster and harder than I ever thought possible. My muscles pulsing and tightening around Ben. As I was coming down from my high, he threw his body down on top of me and came inside me with hard abunding uneven thrusts.

The sweat stuck our bodies together. Clothes tossed around the room, lying naked with Ben, and I couldn't feel more content.

"Better than I dreamed," Ben whispered to my forehead before he planted a slight kiss.

"Dreamt? Of this?" Tired, exhausted, or ready for more, I didn't know. Ben ignored my question and just laid on his back catching his breath. His hand came up and turned my face toward him.

"I don't want to leave."

"Then stay. Compromise." His brown eyes peering down at me like he had hope. "Remember? I'm yours."

"I'm the supreme leader. I've killed countless people. I will not hide away in a room forever."

"I will not go with you."

"We'll see."

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 **Authors Note:** This chapter has been such a pain. I want so many things to happen but they can't all happen at once! I hope you are enjoying reading. Let me know whats working and what is not. Thank you and as always enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

After hiding out on a planet with an abundance of water and life, Jakku seemed so far away. I just lived to survive another day. The marks on the walls justifying how long I have lived in distress. Now I'm stuck with the resistance as their hope in stopping a war that has taken millions of lives. Living again to fight another day. The problem starts with the fact that my enemy is laying next to me and I don't want to fight him. I don't want to hurt him. His chest rises with each breath and I couldn't take that away from him or myself. How do I make a man who is so dark turn and let the light shimmer in?

Ben's feet hang off the corner of the bed, his arm stands as my pillow, and I wonder if we could ever be normal or have a normal life. Living in a home by a lake, watching the sunset after working through the day. I never thought my life would lead here in this room with the hazy light dragging in through the window. Normal was never an option for the son of Leia and Han Solo. Ben would always have some role to fill whether he was a Jedi, sith lord, resistance leader, or even just a son. He always had the pressure of his parents and even the pressure of his uncle.

When Luke hesitated with his lightsaber, Ben had to make a choice. It was always a choice he had to make. The light side betrayed him. When he killed Snoke for me, the darkness betrayed him. When I left his hand to take the lightsaber, I betrayed him. Yet here I am holding on to him like he would disappear.

He told me that the first order would just think he was having some anger fit and wouldn't even look for him. I doubted it. He was now the Supreme Leader of the First Order. His disappearance would be noticed and his absence, maybe not missed, but craved. His power was like a drug. You could feel it pulsing through his veins. At any moment he might turn and it would be your last second. I understood that feeling. He didn't want to be betrayed by anyone else. I didn't want to be left by anyone else.

What were we going to do? The light coming through the window by the two moons only made the room eerier. What am I going to do when Kylo Ren walks out of my room and burst through the resistance like they don't exist. Will he take me by force? Would I let him? I honestly don't know what to do.

The bed slightly squeaks as I raise myself up trying not to move Ben. I reach the floor with my toes and take a step towards the dresser. The drawer scrapes the sides as if they were too big for their space as I pull out my pants, shirt, and jacket. My hand reaches for my boots hidden between the wall and dresser. I dress as quickly and as quietly as I can to sneak out into the hallway. I only heard a murmur of a dream from the man sleeping in my bed.

My boots still in my hand I tiptoe to the lavatory. In the mirror, the girl looking back at me looks exhausted, worried and much older than I remember being. The face flush, hair frizzed in every direction and clothes haphazardly put on. My eyes look sad and my lips still plush, almost like I can still feel the warmth of Ben on them. The jacket was thrown over my shoulders, too big as it really wasn't mine.

After washing my face is the cool second of water and fixing the wildness of my hair, I started walking to Leia's room. I knew it was late but I just had to talk to someone. Finn would never understand since he hated the first order probably more than anyone else for what they had done to him. Leia had an emotional connection with the dark side itself and her son. I just hoped she would understand.

The door, much the same as the others, had a cold metal finish. My hands couldn't find the strength to knock on the door but my head told me I had to. Someone had to know the danger I was putting everyone in. Someone had to know the danger I was in and help me navigate the grey area between what is good versus what I want.

It only took a few light taps against the door for Leia to open it. "Can we talk?"

"Of course. Come in." She ushered me into her room, much bigger than mine with many more screens warning her of any potential threats. If only she knew. "I must say, I did not expect you tonight."

"About that. It's not what you-."

"Rey. You are young and strong. You don't have to explain your needs. I understand them. I was young too."

"But it's not what you think."

"You don't have to explain." Leia insisted once more. "No matter, since you are here I would like to talk to you about Kylo Ren. Something is happening. I feel like we will have to move soon. I have been talking with some of our supporters only a system over and I think we can maneuver around the first orders eyes." My eyes closed and I took a calming breath in. I would have to tell her.

"I know where Ben is," I mumbled not knowing if I really wanted her to hear it.

"How?" A hurried gasped question rushed out of Leia's mouth. She suddenly became very concerned and paid more attention to me than I really wanted.

"He is here."

"Rey, I need you to explain very quickly exactly what you are talking about. If Kylo Ren is here, the first order is here."

"Only your son is here. I don't know where the first order is. Ben is in my quarters but he hasn't come to hurt anyone."

"If Kylo Ren is here death will follow. Hope is gone for my son." Leia turned her back on her son. To her, he was gone very much the same as Han Solo. "You have to do what's right for the resistance Rey, for the sake of everyone here." Was she really asking me to kill her son? Had she given up all hope she had? Even though I told her that it was her son who had returned, she turned her back on him for the resistance.

Woefully, I understood the choice I had to make. I wanted to believe and hope in the resistance but my instinct was telling me to go the other way. The painful regret of taking the lightsaber over Ben's hand weighed me down. Ben was right, it was no longer possible for him to join me. Old things had to die. If I leave the resistance there might be peace in the world.

All I knew was that I had made a mistake by coming to Leia. "I'm sorry." My head shaking back and forth with drops slowly falling from my eyes. I was sorry for so many things that I could not change. "Let us leave."

"Us? No Rey, you must stay. Kylo Ren must be punished for his actions."

"Let us leave and no one will get hurt." I tried to compromise but she had her son's temper, her father's temper. She slammed her closed fist on the table.

"No."


	5. Chapter 5

"Leia, you can't keep me here and you know very well you can't keep Ben here to face a trial decided by the Resistance. You have been a leader and someone for me to follow but I will not blindly follow you when I'm asking you for another option. Let us go. This could potentially save millions more lives than the war has otherwise taken." My back towards the door, I heard the clanky metal entry open. Two men, newly recruited, walked into Leia's chambers with cuffs in hand.

"You're taking me prisoner?" I asked. The men slowly shuffling behind me wait for the official order to handcuff me and take me away.

"This must be the way for our survival. Your mind has been twisted. We will bring you back to the light." Leia nodded her head, signaling that the two men could take me away. The men took a step closer. Could I really fight against the people I so devotedly fought with? I gave up my life, though not much of a life, on Jakku to stay here. If I let them take me, people would die. They would rush Ben and he would easily kill most of this base. He was stronger now than I ever remember him being. His power pulsed through the air. It soothed me the same way it made Leia on edge.

"Stop. Turn around and go back to your quarters." I tried to convince the two men to leave this room. They blinked a few times and held the cuffs up gesturing to my hands within them. The fear drumming through my veins made my focus weak. I had no weapon but every reason to leave. I turned to Leia once again. She held a gun directly at me.

"I'm sorry Rey." I heard the blast of the gun but everything went black as soon as I was hit.

Rain pounded my face as the night sky opened over the base. I was laying on the stretcher over the ground slowly sinking into the mud. Sounds of blasters were going off every direction I could imagine. Someone stifled their scream somewhere in front of me and all I could do for a second was flutter my eyelids.

Leia actually shot me. I had only asked her to leave peacefully and she shot me. She lost all of her faith and hope in her son. My hands were cuffed together by metal shackles and my body aching from the stun. Was I their enemy now? Thrown outside like a piece of trash they couldn't use for their purpose? How easily could they be swayed of my betrayal? My friends, my family gave up on me without thought? How ironic that the resistance was all too similar to the absolutism of the First Order. They were abandoning me. He was right. It all had to end. Ben was right.

The moons were hidden by the darkness of the clouds and the night was black. A red laser blast passed feet from me, shot from a mysterious figure ahead of me. The sudden lights of the ships were lighting the sky as they raced out of the atmosphere. The slick puddle surrounding my body made any attempt at getting up even more difficult. The sound of a lightsaber filled the empty air. It was somewhat distant but distinguished. My body unbalanced weighed down by the rain and mud, hands cuffed in front of my body, I ran toward the weapon only one person could wield.

Past trees, smoke, and bodies, Ben was on his knees. Finn held the red lightsaber in front of him, almost scared of the crackling light blazing in front of his body. A bundle of resistance fighters surrounded him, guns pointed directly at Ben. I slid to his stooped body. My two hands clumped together finding his gloved hands on his knees, giving up. Unmoving figures surrounded this bowed man.

"Rey!" Finn's voice boomed over the crackling laser. Ben glanced over at the sound, rage in his eyes. What did I do? Did I cause all of this pain? I only wanted the war to end and people to just be content. I was selfish and wanted Ben to myself.i was no one waiting for no one until I was thrown into a light versus dark story. Feeling the warmth of Ben when we were secret and safe in my quarters made everything seem like it could be alright. "Rey!" Finn screamed again. "Rey! Move."

Ben wouldn't look up towards me. The rain glided down his hair, dripped down his chin. There was some resolve in him but it only made his soul react worse. Did he know that his own mother betrayed him? Was this his legacy as a man, as Kylo Ren? Would he always be betrayed? Ben's breathing was slow and definitive.

"No." My voice, unquestionable and fierce. This was not a war over light and dark. This was a war over opinion. The First Order thought they held the upper hand and that the galaxy should fall into their rule. The resistance could not handle change or political evolution. Neither was right.

My hands still bound in front of my body, everyone slightly shuffled as I stood in front of the man they were sure to execute. "Finn, give me the lightsaber." His eyes wandered my drenched clothes and stared at the cuffs holding my hands hostage. The closer I stepped toward Finn the more guns pointed at me.

"She said he had gotten into your mind. That I should not trust you." Finn spoke with less certainty than his previous commands.

"Give me the lightsaber," I ordered again. Ben finally stood. I don't know if it was to take the attention toward himself or his preparation for the last stand. Betrayal poured out of him like a sieve. Anger pulsed out of him and everyone was thrown slightly off balance. All blasters again pointed at him. Finn ready to kill the leader he hated so much.

"We could end this. If he is gone, they won't have a leader." Succumbing to the anger in my body, like tendrils of revulsion, betrayal, and pure hatred wrapped around me. No longer did I see my friends standing around me, watching me like a monster. I saw the abandonment of a mother, the leader, and everything it stood for. The resistance was not supposed to fall into the same disarray and unempathetic ways of the dark but here they were. Leia, off on some ship, and her followers calling for blood in her place. Her son's blood.

"Killing won't solve anything. Put your guns away and go live your lives. Do you want to sacrifice yourself for something you can't recognize anymore? There's no hope left here. Give me the lightsaber and-" That's when the blaster sounded off. A scream everyone could recognize, the blaster that fired landed on the ground. Its target bleeding and it's holder midair choking with his hand to his throat. The red lightsaber writhed beneath Finn's hand until it flew through the rain to meet Ben's grasp.

"Leave." His low voice thundered over the small crowd. "Or stay and die." Everyone looked around, wondering what the others would do. The only one I could easily identify was Finn. He just stood looking at his empty hands. Ben dropped the man into the mud and rain. As if in one singular thought, they all began to shoot at him. He caught a few mid-air and tossed them back at the attacker. His lightsaber diverted a couple more. Two blasts hit me. Blood flowed down my leg and I was unable to breathe. My thigh was slashed through and a hole punctured my chest. Finn watched as I fell back onto the cold wet ground.

My breath staggered and I was begging for air. The mud seeped into my hair and water was filling my ears. My back pushed forwards, spastically like it was trying to find a solution for what it can't fix. Thunder, or a yell, roared in my ears. To my right, there was a body of a young girl, much like me. Dark hair, or stained by the dirt and blood, her eyes closed. She seemed at peace and maybe that soon would be me.

The same pulse coming from Ben was shaking the air and I could feel thumps hitting the ground. I could not tell if they were heavy boots walking to kill me or bodies falling from their stance. In the distance, people ran from what I assumed was the red light slashing around behind me. The light of his saber reflected in the small droplets on my body. Even on the water drops of the girl not so far from me.

Everything became still. I didn't feel the misty rain, though I was completely chilled by the cold. I did feel two hands pick me up like I was a leaf and carry me off close to a dream. Thrown over his shoulder I could feel his hand extend and tear something down. The power he used pulsed through his body and his muscles clenched. The whiteness of his skin was barely visible through the tears in his shirt. It looks like it was mixed with red paint. Not the dark blood that covers old wounds but a light new red smeared across a blank canvas.

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 **Authors note:** Let me know what you think! As always, Enjoy!


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